Lulu the Lugubrious Voodoo Doll, now with free ball of cheeping dryer lint

[myironeyes]

[Open spam in the greenhouse.]

[It's a peculiar sight, even moreso than Marsh on his own. The man with spikes for eyes is carrying a very small, ugly, excitable cockatiel chick, carefully transferring her from one flowerbed to the next, letting her waddle intrepidly through the greenery, meticulously watching over her and snatching her gently away from any drop-offs or sinister-looking creeper vines while frowning in terse disapproval.]

[Private to Zane]

I'd like to teach you the fast way to kill an Inquisitor.

[It's neither an instruction nor a question; it's a preference. He knows Zane is struggling with his own relationship with violence right now. Zane could refuse, if he wants to.]

Just in case.


[Private to Barbara]

What is your opinion on mercy killing?


[Private to Erik]

How are you getting along with Kelsier?


[Private separately to Ned and Lua]

If you had to trust someone on this ship to kill you, who would it be?


[Private to Ryan Hardy]

I am your warden. I am still not a metaphor for anything.

We should meet.

Comments

Re: [Private]

[deadly_ned]

I could do it bloodlessly, painlessly and with dignity.

And...reap certain benefits from it.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

I didn't know that.

[Quiet, thoughtful.]

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

No one knows that.

...No one is supposed to know that. It's becoming less and less of a secret on the Barge.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

Thank you for telling me, then.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Why are you asking?

If I may ask.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

It's very easy for. Anything with psychic influence to take me over, and just. Control me completely, even if normally they can only nudge people with impulses they already had.

Some of the places the barge has been...I could be very dangerous. And I don't want my brother to have to do it.

[Again.]

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Oh.


I'm...almost definitely sure there are wardens who could restrain you without killing you.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

Perhaps. But I think very few.

And I don't want to rely on the possibility.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

I'm not sure I'd be able to help you.

My skill set is very, um. Specific in nature.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

Specific how?

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

It's a little complicated.

No, that's a lie. I was lying.

It's fairly traumatic and also a secret.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

Okay.

I don't really want you to have to do it either.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

No one ever really wants to die, no.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

I wanted to die more than anything for over two years straight.

[He doesn't even say it very sadly. Just - no dude, you're wrong.]

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Wanted? Do you still want to?

[Private]

[myironeyes]

Not more than anything else.

[Which is what matters, as far as he's concerned.]

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Your deal isn't to die, is it?

[Private]

[myironeyes]

[gently]

No.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

Just...thought I'd check.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

[He shrugs]

I would, if I couldn't do it myself. But it's not difficult, when I'm in my right mind.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

That's horrible.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

Someday I will get to rest. But not soon. That's all.

And until then I'd like to keep people safe from me, if possible.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

You don't seem all that dangerous.

[Private]

[myironeyes]

[His mouth twitches. Not an actual smile, but a stillborn one making a valiant attempt before vanishing.]

That's because I don't want to hurt anyone.

[Private]

[deadly_ned]

That's a favorable character trait. I don't want to hurt anyone either.