myironeyes | (no subject)

[Public, video]

[Marsh looks, if possible, even more grave than usual. He looks very tired.]

Kara Zor-El's door appears to have reverted to barge standard.

[His mouth pinches, and then he takes a breath, as though to say something else - but he doesn't. The silence stretches, for a few more seconds.]

I will be leaving the barge and returning to my own world. Shortly.

[Private to Luna]

I would like you to consider taking my place as Kitchen Supervisor for the dinner shift.

[Spam for Zane]

[He's there when Zane wakes, as they lurch and rumble and sail away from Karazhan. He couldn't go back, of course, not like Iris did, would be more a hindrance and a danger than any help, as much as he hated to watch her descend again. But Zane, at least, was here, safe. He makes tea with shaking hands, and keeps vigil like he once had for Kelsier. It feels like it was very long ago.]

[Spam for Cassel]

[A knock on his door, the day after their return.]

It's Marsh. I have. Something for you.

[Private to Jean]

[Heavily,]

Thank you.

[Spam for T'Pol]

[It's in the middle of one of their irregular - by barge necessity - sewing lessons, after they've settled into the rhythmic silence of practicing a new technique. Without looking up, or any particular emotional inflection, he murmurs,]

When we were small, you asked how I knew about allomancy, if it was supposed to be a secret.

My mother was skaa, but my father was noble. It was very illegal.

[Private to Dean]

I apologize for my actions.

[Private to Clementine]

When you are done here, I hope you will visit me. I think you might enjoy meeting my god.

[Private to Sylvanas]

I hope someday you find peace in a manner that suits you.

[Private for Iris, backdated to right after the Pacific Rim breach]

[The first few minutes, after the spikes come back to him, are alway a special sort of excruciating. He sprawls on his chair, tries not to shudder, tries not to whimper. Later, when the fog of pain retreats just slightly, clears a space for thought, the rest seeps in, Zane's baby toes and the white-hot meld of drifting and Iris, a life with Iris, in patches and screaming and tight knuckles holding on, the smell of her hair, the slow march of lines on her face and the way he knows each one. Knew. Knew each -

- it's something. And he doesn't know what to do about it at all. He opens a voice channel, because he loves her too much to let it make him a coward, has no idea what to say.]

Iris...

[It comes out raspy and tender at once, more than he meant it to. Did you win, he thinks, even though he was watching everyone's progress when the breach ended. They regaled each other so many times.]

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I told you to run.

[The faintest emphasis on I; he understands the question.]

The - vulnerability is part of me, and it will not change. I shouldn't have outstayed my obligations.

[Exoneration will not come from Dean; he agrees. Marsh should've gone, if he knew this would happen.

Even if Dean understands the weakness of staying around people he cares about and even loves, even knowing his own potential to be used against them in ways they can't stop. He does not count himself among those for Marsh, but neither is he especially unforgiving of possessed attacks on himself.

Dean nods.]

Then go.

I'll be announcing it later tonight.

[It's not as hard as it could be, with Kelsier and C'Rizz gone, with Ryan and Nathan lost. But it is still awful, leaving behind Iris and Zane when he's only just learned what kind of life they might have had together, leaving Cassel with his bleak eyes. But it needs badly to be done, so he will do it.]

[The concept of being able to just choose to go and then going is still a somewhat foreign one to Dean, which would be amusing in any other context considering his lifestyle before Croatoan. His car was his home - he picked up and went every night and sometimes more often, at his own whim, beholden to no one and nothing.

As if that was ever true. Now, though, he doesn't cut the feed. It's strange, or maybe not so much, that he wouldn't go so far as to say he wants Marsh to stay, but... he isn't happy about him going, either. Even after Karazhan.]

What happens to the dinner shift? [It's important, he thinks, to know what Clementine and even T'Pol are going to be dealing with now; it's what he lets be important even in the privacy of his own mind.]

[Wherever he goes, he will still be an Inquisitor; he will still have this weakness carved into him. But on Scadriel is Sazed, who will neither take advantage nor let anyone else do so, who will always be there. It is incomprehensible to him, still, but he will go.]

I intend to ask Miss Lovegood to replace me. Of the available candidates, she has no particular connection to any of you, that I know of.

And she is odd, but not...effusive.

[Which none of them deal with well.]

So you picked the new boss based around us, not the job.

[Very, very dry.]

I suspect the job will be easier to learn.

[Well. He's not wrong.]

Well. I suppose we could always just quit, allegedly.

You could. I would prefer you not.

You make a good team.

Why should we give a shit what you prefer? You're leaving.

It's not a request. It's just part of my reasoning for not letting the Admiral pick someone at random.

Reasoning.

[Dean snorts, but it's not particularly harsh. Resignation more than anything.]

Well, at least someone tried to apply it around here.

Now that I can, I make a point to.

What does that even mean?

There were years I couldn't try. When I belonged absolutely to a thing that wanted only destruction, and had no way to fight it.

But now - I can try. To make things a little better than they are. So.

(no subject)

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