Dolorous von Shishkabob and case of the Oversized Hummingbird [spam]

[myironeyes]

[OOC: backdated to slightly before Mark woke up. Also this will be my last Marsh post for a little while, I swear. Touko lost Mark's hummingbird, and Marsh found it. Oy.]

[Marsh has been adjusting rapidly to new things on this ship. Neverthless, he did not expect to be attacked by a swift, vicious hummingbird the size of a fat chicken. And even though it's a nasty little thing, he doesn't really want to hurt it. A burst of compounded speed later, he manages to catch it, pinning its wings carefully in both hands and holding it so that it can't peck him.

A moment later, he realizes he has no idea what to do next. He can't really let it go, and he has no idea where it came from or where it belong. Which leaves him combing methodically through the ship's levels and hallways, a solemn-faced spike-eyed man in an all-black cloak, gingerly carrying a gigantic, brightly colored, shrilly protesting dire hummingbird.]

...excuse me. Is this your bird?

Comments

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[myironeyes]

Maybe it's a hunting bird.

[It certainly has the instincts. :| ]

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[patheticvillain]

Hunting for spikes?

[Shittiest hunting bird.]

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[myironeyes]

Perhaps it's poorly trained.

[Yes it is.]

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[patheticvillain]

Perhaps.

[Marsh, come on, it's really poorly trained, this is not a theory it is a proven fact.]

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[myironeyes]

Or untrained as of yet.

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[patheticvillain]

You're going to train that thing?

Re: spam

[myironeyes]

...it seems unfair to kill it just because its previous owner was irresponsible. If they cannot be located, then. Perhaps.

[So dour. This is not something he wanted to commit himself to. Damnit, Cassel.]

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[patheticvillain]

[He almost feels bad about this. But it's still funny.]

You could set it free at the next port.

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[myironeyes]

Mmm. If the habitat seems appropriate.

[He has no idea what the appropriate habitat for this thing is, though.]

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[patheticvillain]

So like . . . violent and probably homicidal? 'Cause I don't think that's a biome.

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[myironeyes]

Yes, it is.

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[patheticvillain]

. . . Not where I'm from.

But okay, I stand corrected, your world sucks enough that violent and probably homicidal might be a biome there.

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[myironeyes]

[solemn nod]

But it isn't. From my world.

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[patheticvillain]

Maybe if you feed it things that aren't eye spikes and read it bedtime stories you can teach it how to love.

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[myironeyes]

...maybe I'll give it to my brother.

[best plan so far, lbr]

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[patheticvillain]

That'd work. Payback for telling people to be friends with you.

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[myironeyes]

[What are you talking about of course that's not his motive. Not. At. All.]

He is simply more suited the task.

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[patheticvillain]

Sure he is. Sure he is.

[Cassel sees you there, Marsh.]

Whatever. I like you better than him anyway. Give him the crazy bird if you have to, though, I'd laugh.

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[myironeyes]

If it becomes necessary, I will be certain to inform you.

[Not smiling.]

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[patheticvillain]

Oh, cool, I'm on the shitty bird mailing list!

[That's okay, Marsh. Cassel can smile for both of them.]

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[myironeyes]

You are the list.

[Feel special, Cassel.]

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[patheticvillain]

[So special. So very.]

This is the best day of my life. Thanks, man.

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[myironeyes]

[Gracious nod.]

You're welcome.

[The bird squawks. Apparently it disagrees.]

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[patheticvillain]

Well, I should probably get working on that emergency cage. Wouldn't want it to go after your eyes again.