myironeyes | Dolorous von Shishkabob and case of the Oversized Hummingbird [spam]

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Dolorous von Shishkabob and case of the Oversized Hummingbird [spam]

[OOC: backdated to slightly before Mark woke up. Also this will be my last Marsh post for a little while, I swear. Touko lost Mark's hummingbird, and Marsh found it. Oy.]

[Marsh has been adjusting rapidly to new things on this ship. Neverthless, he did not expect to be attacked by a swift, vicious hummingbird the size of a fat chicken. And even though it's a nasty little thing, he doesn't really want to hurt it. A burst of compounded speed later, he manages to catch it, pinning its wings carefully in both hands and holding it so that it can't peck him.

A moment later, he realizes he has no idea what to do next. He can't really let it go, and he has no idea where it came from or where it belong. Which leaves him combing methodically through the ship's levels and hallways, a solemn-faced spike-eyed man in an all-black cloak, gingerly carrying a gigantic, brightly colored, shrilly protesting dire hummingbird.]

...excuse me. Is this your bird?

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I found it.

Or. I suppose it found me.

['Found', here, meaning 'attacked'.]

[He peers carefully at it for a second.]

I hate to tell you this. I know it'll probably be really upsetting and possibly damage your self-esteem. But I'm pretty sure that bird hates you a lot.

[Solemn frown.]

Probably. But I can't let it go until I find whoever is responsible for it.

[Return volley of solemn frown.]

So you're interviewing the whole Barge? What if it belongs to someone who was here and then disappeared?

If I must, yes.

And...I don't know. What would happen if I released it in the CES, do you think?

It might be fine.

Or it might come up with an elaborate revenge plan and get back at you for carrying it around when you least expect it.

Mmm.

Hopefully someone will come forward.

What happens if you just let it go here?

It would probably try to peck your eyes out.

It already chipped its beak on mine.

[ 8X ]

[. . . Please hold while Cassel doesn't try very hard to stop laughing. Help, best mental image.]

[Marsh holds.]

[Eventually, after normal breathing resumes.]

So you're protecting everybody from a beaked menace.

Where did you find it?

Just in the stairwell.

You should put up posters. "Is This Your Shitty Bird?"

[Hmmm. Right. Most people are literate, here. Still weird.]

I don't really have anywhere to put it while I make them.

[He doesn't want a dire hummingbird shredding and/or shitting on his stuff, okay.]

[This is a legitimate fear.]

I'll make 'em. I feel like that would buy me at least one graduation point.

If no one claims it soon, I'll let you know?

Okay. And if you get tired of holding it I might be able to make it a cage or something.

I don't get tired.

Well, bored then.

...I don't really want to miss dinner.

[aka, thank you]

Okay. It might take me a couple hours, I have to figure out how to put it together.

[He squints at the bird again, mentally taking measurements.]

[That seems like a reasonable amount of time to spend on due diligence for this stupid bird. He nods.]

Where should I meet you, if the cage is still necessary after three hours?

[It'd take him five minutes if he was fully powered. STUPID BARGE.]

You know where the art room is?

Yes.

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